Haunted Memories of Misguided Souls
by LostInAGreenHaze
Summary: When a tragic event has left Bella broken, she is forced to move back to Forks with her dad. When Bella meets Edward, he shatters every wall that she has carefully constructed around her, and they are both forced to face the memories that haunt them. A/H
1. Bum Fcuk Alaska

** Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer own all things Twilight. We just borrow her characters and screw up their lives.**

**A/N:**

**Hey guys, this is our first fanfic story, so we hope you enjoy. We have been thinking about this for a long time, and finally decided to just do it and see what you readers think. Also, just FYI, if you go to the upper right hand corner of your computer screen, and click on the 1/2 page thing, it's alot easier to read! Have a good time reading! More A/N at the bottom!**

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Haunted Memories of Misguided Souls: Chapter 1

I woke with a start, gasping for breath and trying to bring myself back to the present. Right. My room, Renee and Phil's condo in Phoenix. _I'm not there anymore. It didn't just happen. _One glance out of my window showed the disgusting heat and humidity already settling in. And it's only 9 in the morning…. Great.

Today is my final day to pack and I can already tell that I will be too exhausted to function properly. Having these dreams/nightmares/flashbacks, whatever you want to call them, is seriously weighing me down. It's been 8 months since that night, and I still haven't been able to get a full nights' sleep. Of course I cant let Renee know how bad its gotten because she'll go all mega-mom on me and try to put me back in therapy. Not that I don't appreciate her 'loving attempts' they are just useless. I can hear footsteps coming down the hall. _Ahhh… speaking of…._

"Bella, honey?" Renee calls though the door.

"Yeah ma, I'm awake." I clear my throat. Sometimes when my nightmares are real bad, I wake up feeling like I've been screaming all night. I probably have.

Renee walks in and, glancing around, her eyes settle on me. She sucks in a deep breath before coming to sit on the edge of my bed. _Oh gosh, here we go._

"Bella, are you sure you don't want help packing your things? I know you're upset about moving, but that doesn't mean you have to do this alone…"

"Mom. Trust me, I'm fine. I need to do this myself." _How many times do I need to tell her this?!_

Renee starts again, "Well, you know I hate having to do this, but I'm just at a loss here. I want to help you; you don't always have to face things on your own. I'm here for you. I know we're not very close, but you know I love you."

_Right. Maybe if you hadn't spent half of my life chasing men around, we'd be a little bit closer! _Not that I'd ever tell her that to her face.

Instead I say, "I know mom. I love you too. Don't worry about me; I'll be fine in Forks. I'll be with Charlie."

"Alright honey, if you're sure…." Renee says, sounding all hopeful that I'll change my mind. _Ha. Like that'll happen._

"I am, but if I need your help with anything, I promise to call you."

This seems to please her enough to hop off the bed and head towards the door. She calls after her as she walking down the hall, "Ok, I'll be downstairs if you need me."

Phew. I love my mother, but I'm just not in the mood for her optimistic bullshit.

* * *

I glance at the clock on my bedside table, 2:57. I've been going as slow as possible and time still hasn't passed. I'm pretty much done with my packing; all that's left are the shelves in my closet. I've been saving those for last because I know those boxes house a lot of old memories that I just don't want to face.

I zipped up my suitcase with the last of my clothes in it, not that there's much. Forks' weather is like the polar opposite from Phoenix's. Sweaters and Jeans are going to be my new wardrobe since there wont ever be a chance for me to wear my tanks and t-shirts. _God I feel like I'm moving to bum-fuck Alaska._

With a groan, I pick myself up from my spot on the floor and head towards the closet. I open it up and start pulling boxes down, reminding myself not to look at anything too closely, for fear of having another anxiety attack. The first box is all old school work and assignments. The next one turns out to be the one thing I wanted to avoid, pictures. I glance through them quickly, picking out ones to take and shove the box into a corner. One day I will be able to go through it the right way. Just not today. And onto the last box. One glance inside brings back so many memories I feel like I cant breathe. I have to face this. Jake would want me to suck it up and face it.

I start rummaging through all of the things from my best friend with tears streaming down my face. _God, why are you so cruel to me?_ In the very bottom of the box in the corner is a wrapped gift that I've never seen before. It has a note attached to it and I recognize Renee's writing right away.

_Bella, _

_I know you are going through things, and I figure you are not ready to open this. It is a birthday present from Jacob that they found in his belongings. If, by the time you are reading this, you don't feel ready to face this, its fine. You will one day. I love you, and never forget that Jake would want you to be happy._

_Mom_

My breathing is so erratic I honestly feel like I'm having a heart attack. But I have to do this. Like I said, Jake would want me to suck it up and face it. With that thought, I tear open the package. It's a good-sized box, about the size of a Christmas card. _Breathe, Bella, Breathe._ I chant in my head over and over. I open it up and the first thing I see is a card. I open it up and read.

_Bella! _

_Happy Sweet 16! Wow, you're getting old! Oh wait… I'm sixteen too. Well, I don't want to get all girlie and sappy, so I will keep this short. I love you and I wanted you to have something special for your special birthday. I hope when you look at it everyday when you wake up, you will think of all of our great times together and smile. I know that what started just as something we randomly said to each other turned into our thing, but you know that I absolutely mean it. When I say I will forever love you and be there for you, I'm speaking the truth. No matter where our lives take us, I will always be near you, and you will always be near me. We live in each other's hearts. You're my best friend. Happy birthday, I love you._

_Jake_

_P.s. Oh and btw, my matching one is in there too, so don't think you get both!_

_P.p.s. ok so I just re-read that and I sound kinda girlie, so umm… I'm gonna go play some football! HAHAHA. Bye You Old Fart!!!! _

Oh, Jake. Can I even go any further? The card alone crippled me with tears. I have to finish it; I've already come this far. One last deep breath and I look in the box.

My breath catches in my throat as I choke back my tears. A necklace and chain. The necklace has a small feather charm on it and the back has been engraved. I hold it up to the light to read the small words, '_Forever?…'_. I look at the chain still in the box, already knowing what his will say. I pull it out and look at the wolf charm and the words on the back. _'…Of course…'. _

Through the salty mess running down my cheeks I can feel the smile tugging at my lips. It feels so foreign, having a true smile that wasn't forced just for the sake of someone else. I make up my mind right then and there and start un-clasping both of them.

I pull my feather off the necklace and add it onto the chain next to his wolf. After clasping it back together I slip it over my head and let the charms and words rest over my heart. The cold silver pangs against my warm chest and I can feel the memory coming forth, and for once I welcome it.

_4 years earlier_

"But Jake, I look so stupid in this dress!! You can't expect me to wear this in front of the whole 6th grade!!" I wail through the bathroom door.

"Bella Marie Swan! If you are not out here in 30 seconds I'm throwing all of your Disney books out of your window!!!" Jacob yells through the door, but I can tell he's joking. _He is joking right?_

I pull open the door to see my best friend Jake standing there in black church pants and a teal button up shirt and I just can't stop myself from laughing. Jake is so dark skinned, being Indian and all, that the teal color just pops right off of him.

"Jake, who dressed you? I thought you were going for casual…." I start snorting at the end to keep the laughter at bay. It's not helping that he's standing in front of me looking so mad he resembles a bull.

" Oh shut your face Bella! My dad made me wear this. As he says, 'Jacob, you are becoming a man, your sixth grade graduation represents your life ahead of you. You will not wear jeans and tennis shoes!'" Jake says in a deep voice trying to imitate his father. "Anyways, what took you so long? And why did you say the dress looked stupid? Bella you look beautiful."

I turn beet red at that. Jacob is always complimenting me and I have a feeling he does it just to see me turn pink. Whatever. "Are you sure Jake? Everyone is going to be there…" I whine.

"Bella, how long have we been best friends?" Jake asks.

"For 2 years, why?"

"Have I ever lied to you about anything?"

"No of course not Jake, I just feel so stupid in this dress, you know I'm not one of those glamour girls that looks fantastic in a dress and strappy shoes!" I feel like I'm going to cry now as again, I second-guess my outfit.

Jake pulls me into one of his big bear hugs and starts running his hands soothingly over my back. "Bella, trust me, you are beautiful. Don't ever doubt that. You are my best friend and I love you. I will always love you Bella."

"Forever?"

"Of course." Jake reassures me.

This seems to take a huge load off of my shoulders and I stand up a little straighter, straighten my clothes out, and reach for Jake's hand.

"Well in that case, lets go graduate Jakie!!" We take off down the stairs and fly out the door, looking forward to next year as big 7th graders at a new school.

_End Flashback._

That day so many years ago was one of the best days in my life. After that, we always told each other how much we cared, and yes, that it would be forever. It became our little inside joke, but we both knew how much it meant even when we were just joking around.

With that, I wiped my tears and stood up. Feeling just a little bit stronger now that I had a small piece of Jake with me forever. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for the day tomorrow, might as well try to get a few hours sleep.

* * *

The morning passed just as I thought it would. Renee cried and told me how much she loved me and would miss me. I tried to act like I was actually feeling anything, when really I just felt kind of numb. I told her empty words that I couldn't really hear myself saying. I loaded all of my things in the car and we headed towards the airport.

Once we said our official goodbyes I boarded the plane and took my seat next to the window. I popped my headphones into my ears and switched on my ipod, selecting to listen to the songs at random.

I doze off and on for most of the flight until I heard the captain announcing our descent. I sit up and glance out of the tiny window. Clouds and rain. Wonderful. Just as I'm getting ready to turn off my music I hear a familiar song and pause.

Rain on the window makes me lonely

_Time keeps on passing so slowly_

_The old man sittin' next to me is falling asleep _

_On a Greyhound bound for nowhere_

Yeah Miranda Lambert, I know exactly how you feel. The flight attendant comes on the speaker to let us know of our arrival. Guess there's no turning back now. I gather my things and exit the plane, keeping my gaze down at my feet until I'm back on solid ground. I look up and it's so… dark, and green and… wet. This is nothing like home; I don't know how I'm going to survive this.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

Walking through the terminal at Sea-Tac Airport was giving me a weird sense of deja vu. I used to come for a week every summer to visit Charlie until a couple years ago, and it felt so wrong coming here to _live. _I kept my head lowered as I maneuvered my way through this huge airport. And to think this is the biggest town close to my new "home", and it's over 3 hours away. _Bah. Not like I have anything better to do than live in a town that's like bum-fuck Alaska, right?_

I hear someone calling my name near the baggage claim and look up to see none other than Police Chief Charlie Swan. My lovely, awkward, surprisingly good-looking father.

"Hey Bells, how was your flight?" Charlie asked as he gave me an awkward hug and kiss on my head.

"Hey Ch-…dad. It was fine. Nothing very exciting." He hates it when I call him Charlie. Good thing I caught myself before it slipped out.

"Mmhhmm… well that's good Bells. Lets get your bags and get on the road." And that was the end of conversation for the time being. _Thank whatever God there is up there. I'm not in the mood for small talk._

After gathering my whole 3 suitcases, we headed out and towards the car. I can't say that I'm surprised to see that Charlie decided to pick me up in the cruiser, he always had a habit of inadvertently embarrassing me every chance he got. Well, being mortified is something I've grown accustomed to; I am not exactly the most graceful person in the world.

Charlie attempted some small talk for the first hour of the drive, and then found it much more comfortable to just keep quiet. I pulled out my iPod and started scanning through my music, finally coming to a stop on one of my favorite songs by Boys II Men, Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.

How do I say good bye,  
To what we had,  
The good times that made us laugh,  
Outweigh the bad,  
I thought we'd get to see forever,  
But forever's gone away,

It so hard to say goodbye to yesterday,  
I don't know where this road,  
Is going to lead,  
All I know is where we've been,  
And what we've been through,  
If we get to see tomorrow,  
I hope it's worth all the wait,  
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday,  
And I'll take with me the memories,  
To be my sunshine after the rain,

It's so hard to say goodbye,  
To yesterday,  
And I'll take with me the memories,  
To be my sunshine after the rain,  
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

Listening to that makes me want to cry but I haveto keep it together. _Don't want to freak Charlie out on my very first day here by bursting into tears and having a panic attack in his car._

I hurry to change the song to something more upbeat, just to beat back my feelings to where they will be locked up once again. Britney Spears' Circus is playing now, and it's brought back my numbness instead of the ever-growing sorrow.

Staring out of the passenger window in the cruiser, it looks like we're in the middle of nowhere, but we've been driving for at least 3 hours, so we must be getting close soon. Just as I think that, I see the sign for Forks coming up on the right.

Just a couple minutes later, we are driving through what the locals call "downtown". Please, this is like the size of my old middle school in Phoenix. I let out a large huff of breath and slump further into my seat. Sounds pretty crazy, but it seems like this rink-a-dink town has gotten even smaller in the 3 years its been since I have visited. _Oh joy, oh joy. I will be living in a town where everyone knows everyone else. Kinda hard to be invisible when I will be the talk of the town for the next year! Curse my parents for making me do this._

I just close my eyes and pray for this to be over. Soon enough we are pulling into the bumpy driveway of Charlie's house. _Oh right, my house too now. Again, oh joy oh joy! Not. _As soon as the car stops I hop out and start pulling out my bags. I just want this day to be over already.

Charlie helps bring my things upstairs to my childhood bedroom, where everything is the same as it's always been. Same exact twin sized bed, same exact black and purple comforter I got in 6th grade. Same exact off-white drapes my mom put up when I was born, same exact rocking chair in the corner. Same everything. I guess he never expected me to grow up, although he's going to have to accept it now. I'm going to change everything in this room as soon as possible. Too many memories arise when I look at things that remind me of before.

I hear a throat clearing behind me, as I stand motionless next to the bed. I turn to see Charlie, standing in the door next to my two big suitcases, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Umm Bells, I know it's not what you're used to, but we can change things if you like, I can even go buy some paint if you want a different color. I know how you teenage girls like to have everything new."

"Thanks Dad, it'll be fine for now. At least until I find a job to buy new things." Oh, that reminds me, I need to find a job and fast. I can't sit in this house all summer long and do nothing.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, I talked to the lady that runs the community center, Wendi? Do you remember her?"

Honestly, no, I don't remember anyone from here. Every summer I came to visit I would keep to myself until it was time to go back home. "Yeah dad, I'm pretty sure I remember her."

"Well, she said that she could possibly get you a job there. It wont be anything super nice or well paying, but it's better than nothing. I think she said that it's mainly a position that you will play with kids all day and monitor the sports areas. She is supposed to give me a call tomorrow to let me know if she was able to get you a position."

"Wow, thanks dad. That sounds great." _Apparently I wont have to go job searching after all. Score one for Bella._

"I will let you know what she says and we can figure it out. I will let you get your things unpacked and see you downstairs for dinner. Let me know if you need anything before then."

"Thanks again dad." I call after him and get a grunt in return as he heads down the stairs. At least he leaves me alone and doesn't hover like Renee.

Now, onto unpacking. I grab my luggage and throw everything on the bed to start pulling things out. First off are my clothes, which ends up with the jeans and sweats thrown in the dresser, and the shirt and sweaters thrown haphazardly into the closet. I will deal with that another day, seeing as how I have all the time in the world, not having a life and all. _Wow, I should invite people to my pity party. How lame am I? Oh yeah, pretty damn lame. _I turn to the second suitcase and unzip the zipper very slowly, as if any second snakes are going to jump out and latch onto me. I can already tell this is going to be the one I've been dreading. Opening it at a painstakingly slow pace, I peer inside. Yep. The suitcase of horrors. _Oh Bella, you will be fine. Charlie is right downstairs; your memories wont pull you in too deep this time. Just go through it and get it over with!_

I pull out the first photo album and start flipping though it. A couple of my childhood with Charlie and Renee are right in the beginning. We all look so happy; I can't even remember a time that all three of us were together and actually happy. I don't even have real memories of this, all I have is the pictures. Moving onto the next couple of photos, I take a minute to look at them slowly. They represent the first time my world was turned upside down. There were no longer three of us, it was just me and Renee. She looked happy, I looked like my puppy just died. _I don't even want to look at this anymore, it brings back useless memories that are such a waste of time._

Album number 2 is next up and my breathing is starting to pick up dramatically. I take three deep breaths and open it. The first picture is of Jake and me in 5th grade, showing off our science project. I can't take this. It hurts too much, and I've already had a long and painful day. The book slams shut and I shove everything back into my suitcase, grabbing it up and throwing it into the back of my closet. I will deal with that tomorrow.

Walking blindly towards my bed, my shins smack into the wooden frame and I just let myself collapse onto the mattress. I know I will have bruises tomorrow, but for now I cant bother to think about it, just letting my tears overtake me.

* * *

An hour later I head down the stairs in my ugliest t-shirt and sweats. _Seriously, what the hell was my mom thinking buying me a damn Miley Cyrus _Party in the U.S.A. shirt?!_ She thought my reaction was so funny, I decided to only wear it when upset or cleaning. Preferably when cleaning with bleach. Take that Renee. _I smell something that sort of resembles a pizza, and look around the corner into the kitchen to see Charlie at the table eating a hot pocket. _Are you fucking kidding me??!?!? This is DINNER?! I'd do better eating goddamn cardboard._

I walk over to the fridge and take a peek inside. Week old milk and green cheese. Yum! The freezer isn't much better: frozen pizza, frozen fish, and hot pockets. Well, at least I have something to do tomorrow. Grocery shopping has always been like my yoga and meditation. Walking up and down the isles with a specific list and looking for the cheapest prices, ahh, I can feel it already.

"Charlie? Do you not eat real food here?" I ask with my back facing him.

"Yeah, in the freezer." Followed by some sort of animal sounding grunt. Well guess I'm stuck with this crap tonight.

I heat up the sorry excuse of a meal and start rummaging through the cabinets, noting what we could use. _Damn, how did he live off of this crap before? It's like food you'd feed a skinny mouse._

The microwave dings and I grab it out, bundling it up in a napkin as I walk towards the door. "G'day sir." I say in a horrible British accent as I walk out, leaving a shocked Charlie in my wake. I don't think I've ever been sarcastic or said any type of joke to him before. _Damn you brain. Start using your mouth filter every now and again! It's there for a reason! Now Charlie's going to think I'm crazy or something. Oh just forget it. I am crazy. _I head up the stairs, shaking my head at the ongoing war inside of my brain. I look down to see the nasty food in my hand seeping grease through the napkin. _Ugh! Well, here going nothing. Cheers!_

* * *

The next couple of days passed pretty slowly. I went grocery shopping, cleaned, cooked, cleaned some more, and sat in my room the rest of the time. Not a whole lot to do in bum-fuck Forks when you have no friends, and don't really want any.

The lady Wendi from the Community Center called to let us know that I got the job, so I pretty much just spent the rest of the week preparing myself for that. At least I have something to look forward to now, even though I'm not the least bit excited to spend my days playing with kids all day long. _Something is better than nothing, right?_

As I got ready for bed the night before my first day at work, I took a chance and peeked at a picture in my dresser drawer. Jake in 7th grade, when he lost a dare and had to let me put his long hair in pigtails. It hurt to look at it, but I felt like the tears were tears of strength, so I stared at it just a little while longer. _I will take any type of strength I could get, because I sure as hell couldn't bring it along on my own._ I reached down and ran my finger over his face and pigtailed hair, remembering that day, before closing the drawer and climbing into bed.

The tears started to subside, and before I knew it, I was drifting off into a fitful sleep.

* * *

**A/N:**

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	2. The Devil's Craft Supply

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. We just borrow the characters and mess up their lives!**

**A/N: Ok here is chapter 2! Hope you enjoy, it's longer than the first but its necessary, trust me! Ok see you at the end! **

Haunted Memories of Misguided Souls

Chapter 2: The Devil's Craft Supply

I woke up breathless and feeling sweaty as the alarm went off. I reached across the bed lazily and smacked the off button, trying to calm myself. It had been yet another restless night filled with the terrifying nightmares that have plagued my life for the past 8 months.

As I sat up in bed stretching, I felt like I had been running a marathon rather than sleeping for the last 8 hours. So instead of crawling back in bed to try and sleep, I forced myself to get up, knowing not only that today was the first day of my new job, but also that the nightmares would return if I was able to go back sleep. So I climbed to the edge of the bed setting my feet onto the cold hardwood floor, pausing as shiver ran through my body. The weather in Forks was so drastically different from Phoenix, and it was going to take me some serious adjusting before I could get used to it. Sighing deeply, I stood up to stretch once again and sluggishly walked over to my dresser, grabbed some clothes, and headed off to take a shower.

Once in the shower I stood under the warm spray just letting the water run of my tired limbs, trying hopelessly to wash away the horrifying images that filled my head, deciding to give up on the impossible task, I silently shook my head in defeat and moved on. I then tried to mentally pump myself up for the day that's ahead of me. I tried to get myself excited at the prospect of my new job, but who was I kidding? I was going to be spending 8 hours at the Forks Community Rec. Center doing what only God knows for sure, the only thing that I knew was that I would be helping with various activities that included kids of all ages. That thought alone made me shudder, I mean don't get me wrong I love kids, but the idea of dealing with children that had likely been dropped off by parents that purposely confuse the center with a daycare so they could run off, was a little unsettling. I mean if their own parent couldn't handle them then what was I supposed to do? I'm nowhere near prepared or qualified to have these kids unleashed on me, when really they should probably be subjects on Nanny 911. _But of course I'm just THAT luck y to get this opportunity. Pshh that's the biggest load of bull I have ever heard!_

After successfully doing the opposite of what I wanted, I was even more discouraged and even more frustrated, so I gave up all together and quickly finished my shower. After drying off I dressed in a slightly worn pair of jeans and my lucky Run DMC t-shirt, I was definitely going to need all the luck I could get. I then towel dried my hair and put it into a quick ponytail, not having the energy or patience to do something even slightly nicer. Grabbing my laundry I went to the dirty clothesbasket and discarded it and headed back to my room. I grabbed a pair of socks and sat down on my bed while I pulled on my bright pair of orange and purple argyle socks. _At least something should be bright and cheery, because it sure as hell wasn't me._ I scowled at myself for my ever so present negative attitude, and went to pull on my favorite pair of red chucks.

* * *

A short time later, after stalling as much as possible, I had made my bed, cleaned up the little mess I had made and made sure everything was in its proper place. With a heavy sigh and growling stomach I headed down the stairs for some breakfast and more than likely another awkward and forced conversation with Charlie. Although I loved my father, he was desperately lacking skills in the conversation department. Although the absence of deep conversation or pointless small talk didn't have me complaining, simply because I had very little to say these days and enjoyed being left alone, It still would have been nice if things were a little less forced.

I took one more deep breath before stepping into the kitchen, and heading straight for the cupboard for a bowl of cereal with out saying a word. A few moments later as I was getting the milk out of fridge, Charlie decided to break the silence first._ Better him than me._

Letting out a loud huff of breath Charlie folded the paper he was reading and set to the side, "Morning Bells" he spoke, sounding uncomfortable. Before responding I picked up my bowl and took a seat at the opposite end of the table, I spoke quietly, "Morning Charlie." Then I began to eat my breakfast, hoping that that was the extent of this mornings talk, but of course the hope was wasted once again because apparently Charlie was on a roll. _Oh goody._

"Excited for your first day of work?"

I wanted to get through Charlie's surprisingly new favorite game of 20 questions as soon as possible, so I decided to give him the most positive answer that I was capable of. "Sure, sure. Who wouldn't be excited to deal with a bunch of strangers' kids, for 8 hours, getting paid minimum wage, while their parents run off and enjoy themselves. It's the perfect job for a 16 year old girl to have during summer vacation." I finished off giving him a tight smile then took another bite of cereal. Ok, so maybe positive wasn't the best word to describe my answer. _Oh well that's just too damn bad, I can't please everyone. Nor did I have any desire to._

A scowl graced his face when he heard my answer and Charlie gave a dramatic pause before speaking again, "Bells, I know this isn't the most ideal job for you, but you should be a little more grateful. You've been here a little over week and you have been lucky enough to get a fairly easy job," he sipped his coffee, probably waiting for me to say something. _Right, an easy job, I'm so lucky._ I thought sarcastically but said nothing aloud. He must have figured this out, because continued with his thoughts and wasted feelings.

"You know Wendi had to pull quite a few strings to get you in, so I would appreciate it if you would try to have a better attitude about this, It's a great opportunity, not only will you be making some extra money but you will get the chance to meet a few of the people in town." He sighed and took another drink of his coffee looking at me waiting for a response.

_Yeah meeting people, that's exactly what I wanted to do…NOT! That was at the very bottom of my list of things to do, right beneath sticking pins in my eyes._

I decided not to bother Charlie with my severe distaste in social interaction, I just sighed and gave him a nod telling him I got the point and told him I would try my best. This seemed to please him enough, so he decided to move on to asking me yet another fabulous question about what time I had to be at the Community Center. Luckily this one was easier for me to answer.

"I was told to be there at 1 o'clock, but since it's my first day," _and the fact that I had nothing better to do with my time,_ "I wanted to be there a little early so I would have time to get situated with the place."

Nodding his head in agreement, "Sounds like a good plan, I will be back here around 12:15 to pick you up and take you over there." I gave him a silent nod, trying very hard to hide how depressed this made me feel.

_Oh that's right, no vehicle of my own. Which only means one thing. I will be taken to work by the chief of police, in his cruiser. That's just great. UGH! WHY ME?!? I NEVER had this problem in Phoenix. Jake had- - _I stopped the thought immediately, cringing at the memory trying to force its way back. I could feel the anxiety from the partial thought start weighing heavily on my chest. I put all my focus on trying to regulate my breathing before I had a full-blown attack. _That's exactly what I needed right now._

Once I was feeling normal again, well as normal as was possible anyhow, I realized that I had missed whatever Charlie had said. Shaking my head clear, I looked up at him, "I'm sorry Charlie, what did you say?" He looked a little worried but said nothing about it, instead he repeated himself, "I was saying how I was going to head out and I will see you in a few hours." I gave him a weak smile and replied, "Sure thing Charlie. I will be ready and waiting at a quarter after. Have a good morning." With that Charlie smiled and nodded, walking over to me and he planted a quick kiss on my forehead, then turned and headed off out the door.

I was then met with a welcomed silence. Now all I had to do was find something to keep busy with for the next four and half hours. _This should be exciting. HA! Who the hell was I trying to kid, this sucked ass. Welcome to my world._

* * *

At 12 o'clock I was ready to go, so I pulled on my red and black checkered zip up hoodie and went outside. Even though it was freakishly cold outside I still found myself sitting on the top step of the porch waiting for Charlie to arrive.

Four hours earlier when Charlie had left I sat twiddling my thumbs trying to keep my mind from drifting to places that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to escape. So instead of sitting still I decided my best bet would be to keep busy. I had tried to watch some TV, but all that I could find were sappy love movies, and that was NOT going to help keep me from what I was so desperately trying to avoid, so I turned off the TV and tried to figure out something else. I didn't feel like reading because I was in dire need of some new books. _Note to self: find a way to get to a bookstore SOON!_ So I decided to do the only other thing that I could, clean. I started with the laundry, gathering all the clothes, separating them and started the first load. While the washer was going I went back up stairs and cleaned the bathroom, after finishing that I headed back downstairs to switch out the laundry and continued on to clean the living room, followed by the kitchen. By the time it was a quarter to 12 all the dishes were done and put away, the counters clean, and the clothes were put away. So realizing I had nothing else to do I headed up to my room to grab my hoodie and my cell, even though I knew no one would be calling me, I looked one last time in the mirror and sighed at my reflection. _Just plain old' Bella and that is fine with me. The less attention drawn to me the better. _All I wanted to do was blend into the background as much as possible.

I was brought back from my thoughts by the sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling into the driveway. "Ready Bells?" he shouted. _No I'm not ready. I'm just sitting outside in the cold for shits and giggles. Jesus Christ, got any more brilliant questions Charlie? I swear one day my brain is going to explode due to over exposure of small town BULLSHIT! _

Instead of speaking my real thoughts, _because that never leads to anything positive, _I stood up sighing to myself, "As ready as I'll ever be Charlie." I gave him my best impression of a smile and headed over to the passenger side of the cruiser and got in. Charlie backed out of the driveway and headed off toward the highway.

The first part of the drive was spent in a semi-awkward silence, but that was better than the stupid small talk that would just be painful. Unfortunately Charlie apparently didn't feel the same way because he decided to speak. "Hey Bells, do you remember Alice Brandon? You guys used to play when you were little. Uh, your mother and I were real good friends with her parents." _So apparently now I had a photographic memory or some shit? Really? That was YEARS AGO. _But the name did seem somewhat familiar, _but then again for all I knew it was only because I had seen a commercial for the new Alice in Wonderland movie,_ but I responded anyway. "The name sounds familiar, but I can't say I really remember her. Why do you ask?" I looked out the window as we drove, mindlessly playing with the charms on my necklace, as I waited for Charlie to answer, and I didn't have to wait to long, "Well, Alice is working at the center as well. She's only been there a couple weeks, but I figure it will be a good thing to have someone there that you know so they could help you out and show you the ropes." He gave me a smile that looked all optimistic and full of hope. Not giving me a chance to respond yet he went on, "Don't you think that's good Bells? At least you will know one person." Without looking away from the window I answered him, "Yeah Charlie that's really cool."

_But seriously? Didn't I just say that I DIDN'T REMEMBER this Alice? He must have selective hearing or some shit. He seemed so sure that this Alice chick was going to make this piece of shit job in this piece of shit town, that I liked to refer to as bum fuck Alaska, all better. Well don't get your hopes up to high Charlie buddy, because it would take a fucking miracle for that to happen. And last time I checked I had an ice cubes chance in hell of receiving anything remotely close to a miracle. But I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles._

By the time I finished my internal bitching I realized we were turning onto the street that the Community center was on, and I took a deep breath to try and calm my nerves, but it was a fruitless act. As when turned into the parking lot I looked around and noticed that the people who were hanging around outside had started to walk off glaring in our direction. As soon as I began to wonder why, I quickly realized what the reason was, the chief of Police just pulled up. At this point my feelings went from simply being nervous directly to being mortified. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I blushed furiously.

_This is just wonderful, now I would not only be the new girl but now I would be hated and avoided like the plague because I was a cop's daughter, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. FANTASTIC. Just one more thing I get to add to my list of things that royally suck in my life. Thank you again bum fuck Alaska!_

As I reached out for the handle of the door Charlie started speaking, "Do you want me to walk you up so you don't get lost?" _Yeah that's exactly what I need right now, my daddy walking me to my first day of work. No thanks I would like to keep what little dignity I have left intact. _I shook my head, as I answered, "No, it's ok Charlie I think I can manage it not like it's very big, I'll figure it out."

"Alright kiddo, I guess I'll see you when you get off, I will be here to pick you up at 9:30, and please try not to walk around alone in the dark. I will call you when I get here, so just wait inside until then." After he spoke he looked over at me expecting a response.

_Oh god why do I feel like I'm 5 again? Charlie must have forgotten that I was not stupid and in fact had common sense. But I guess he just assumes that because everyone else that lives here in bum fuck is lacking the ability to use those skills, I must be too._

Before opening the door I gave him a quick nod, "Sure thing Charlie. See you later." With that I opened the door and climbed out of the cruiser and shut it behind me, when I began walking through the parking lot I heard Charlie call out to me.

"Have a good day kiddo, and remember be safe!"

And cue blush. _Oh god why me? I'm definitely on someone's shit list._ I turned back slightly and gave a quick wave and praying that he left asap!

I sighed in relief as I saw him pull out and leave the parking lot heading back towards the highway. I turned back around to continue my walk of shame when I heard the unmistakable sound of the Black Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow, blaring behind me;

_I like that boom boom pow_

_Them chickens jackin' my style_

_They try copy my swagger_

_I'm on that next shit now_

_I'm so 3008 _

_You so 2000 and late_

_I got that boom, boom, boom _

_That future boom, boom, boom_

_Let me get it now_

_Boom boom boom, gotta get-get_

_Boom boom boom, gotta get-get_

_Boom boom boom, gotta get-get_

Letting my curiosity get the better of me, I stopped to turn around and see where the source of the music was coming from. I turned just in time to witness a bright yellow porsche pulling into the parking lot, the flashy car was driven by a very petite female, with short spiky black hair, and for some reason she reminded me of a little pixie they way she was dancing around and singing to the music as she parked. I turned back around, pulled my hood on, shaking my head and laughing, this was one strange town.

Just as I had started walking towards the building again I heard a high pitch voice shouting my name. _At this rate I was never going to make it past the parking lot, let alone making it inside. And who the hell was calling me now, it's not like I knew anyone. This has to be some form of torture from the powers at be. Someone really had it out for me._ For what seem the like the hundredth time in the past 3 minutes I stopped and turned around, instantly wishing I hadn't when I saw the source of music and the shouting was one and the same. I watched as the little pixie skipped her way towards me waving her hand in the air, still saying my name. _Did she not see me stop and look at her? Maybe she was blind, no that's stupid she was driving. Well she definitely seemed happy, that fact alone made me want to cringe away from her._

Finally the pixie caught up to me, wearing a huge grin on her face, and she was bouncing slightly; it was like she couldn't stay still. She stopped my observations of her when she to spoke.

"Hi Bella! I'm so glad you're finally here! It's going to be so much fun!" she said as she clapped her hands together in excitement. My face must have looked a little like a deer caught in the headlights, thoroughly confused, because continue without missing a beat to explain.

"Oh yeah, I'm Alice! You probably don't remember me, but we used to make mud pies together when we were little. My mom says we were practically like sisters, always at each other's houses, and hardly ever apart! Which was never a problem because our parents were best friends and always did things together." _Does she ever stop to breathe? I'm out of breath just listening to her._ And still the pixie continued. "Oh gosh I'm rambling huh? I'm sorry I'm just so excited you're finally here! Your dad told my mom a couple of weeks ago, that you were coming to live with him and I've been so excited. We never got a chance to hang out when you would come to visit your dad over the years, I'm just so happy we get the chance now!" She finally took a deep breath and laughed, but spoke again. "Ok ok, I'm stopping now. How have you been?" She asked laughing again.

To say I was a little taken back by Alice was a serious understatement; the pixie had stunned and completely shocked me. I couldn't even make my mouth work, so I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts, and took a deep breath, when I was finally able to speak back I carefully chose my words.

"Um, I've been good I guess. Sorry I didn't realize who you were. My memory kinda sucks." _Yeah it only works to hold onto the memories that hunt me and wish I could forget. Lucky me. _"Although now that you are talking about it, I think I do remember a little. Your mom is Cynthia right and your dad's Alex?" After I spoke I looked into her eyes, and I swear I saw a deep sadness run through them, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

She looked down briefly before answering, the excitement from before had decreased significantly but not completely. "Yep that's them, but it's just me and mom now. She and my father split up not to long after you moved away." She sighed and the pain and sadness from before passed through her eyes again. "Anyways that's a story for another time and there is no need to bore you. I'm just so excited we get to work together! This job is great and Wendi is an awesome boss, and she's funny as hell! You're going to love her! Let's get inside so you can see the place and get everything sorted out!" With that the pixie hooked her arm with mine and pulled me toward the building.

_Oh god… I don't know if I can handle too many more happy people, and definitely not if they were as happy as Alice! That's just dangerous to my health!_

A few short minutes later, thanks to the unnecessary fast pace that the pixie made, we arrived at a door that had I plaque on it that read **Rec. Room**. Which I assumed was where we were supposed to meet with Wendi, barely missing a beat Alice grabbed the door handle and opened the door, pulling me in with her. Once we walked in I looked over the room, it was insane, the walls were covered with various craft projects probably done by the kids, and all kinds of posters were hanging randomly around. There were also several paper machete sculptures around, a water tower, the statute of liberty, and even a little tiki man, whoever was responsible, definitely had a large amount of talent when it came to arts and crafts. Since I was too busy being in awe of my surroundings, I missed what the pixie Alice was saying to me, and once I was able to focus again I turned to talk to her.

"I'm sorry Alice, I got a little uh, distracted," I gave a little wave around the room indicating the cause of said distraction, "What were you saying?"

Alice giggled a little before answering. "It's ok, I understand, it's a little crazy and a lot to take in at first. I was the same way, but it's really cool once the initial shock wears off." She paused for another giggle then continued, "What I was telling you was that Wendi is probably in the back corner working on something, so we should head back so you can meet her!" She finished and did the whole hyperactive bouncy thing again, and before getting my reply she pulled me towards the back corner of the rec. room.

We made it to our destination quickly, partially because it wasn't that far and partially because the pixie felt the need to sprint. When we turned the corner, around the partition, I saw I tall woman, with dark blonde hair that came just to her shoulders, working on some sort of dollhouse. She was concentrating very hard, her glasses resting on the end of her nose, as she worked. She looked around the same age as Charlie; her skin was smooth except for the small creases next to her eyes, probably from smiling so much. _At least I'll never have that problem. _

Wendi seemed completely lost in her own world, not even noticing us standing there watching her, as she used a hot glue gun to put the wood shingles on the roof of the doll house very carefully. As it became apparent that she was not going to be noticing us anytime soon, the pixie that was still clinging tightly to my arm, decided to announce our presence. She cleared her throat and, with far too much excitement, spoke. "Hey Wendi!"

Jumping slightly Wendi stopped what she was doing and look up with a smile, as she set down her glue gun and responded, "Hey Alice! How are you? I see you're as chipper as always!" She then began to laugh and shook her head in amazement. _I guess I'm not the only one that finds the pixies level of energy a little unusual._

Still bouncing with excitement Alice took no time responding, "I'm doing absolutely great, Thank you!" she giggled then continued. "Wendi, this is Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter." She then turned towards me, "Bella, this is Wendi Daniels. Rec. leader extraordinaire and arts and crafts god!"

Wendi smiled, while sighing and shook her head, "Alice my dear, you are exaggerating just a little don't you think?"

"Absolutely not! You're amazing and deserve credit where credit is due!" she exclaimed looking a little incredulous at Wendi's words. And with a shrug she added, "Trust me I know what I'm talking about."

Wendi laughed loudly, "Oh Alice, I know better than to doubt you." Then with a smile she turned to me, wiping her hands on her jeans, and extending her hand to me. "Well Bella, it's great to finally meet you! Charlie has told me so much about you, but it's always better to put face to a name!"

I took her hand, giving her a light but firm shake. "It nice to meet you too. Thank you so much for getting me this job." Giving her the most genuine smile I was capable of, which wasn't much.

"It's no big deal, people owe favors for the things I've helped them with, so I just called one in." she shrugged, " Plus Charlie said you're a good kid and work hard, and that's exactly the type of people we like having work with us."

"Well I may not have much experience, but Ch-I mean my dad was right when he said I work hard, I always finish what I start and I'm usually a quick learner, but I have to warn you I'm a bit of a klutz at times."

"Oh that sounds perfect! You'll fit in nicely around here, and don't worry about being a klutz, because I walk into walls all the time!" She stated then laughed loudly again.

Not being able to help it, I laughed a little with her. That in fact surprised the hell out of me, because it was probably the first time in the past 8 months that I had really laughed. _Gosh that feels weird. It's been so long I forgot what it felt like. But I wont get used to it, things like that just don't happen anymore. The carefree me died a long time ago… with him._

Absorbed in my own thoughts, it startled me a little when she spoke to me again.

"So Bella, what do you say we head into the office to get you all set up?" she asked as she straighten up the things she had been using.

I nodded my head, "Sounds good to me."

After she finished up, she turned and headed toward the office. Having totally forgotten that the pixie was there, due to the whole random unexpected laughing thing, I jumped when she began to speak behind me.

"You're going to love working her Bella, I just know it! It's a lot of fun and really laid back, especially for being a job!" She smiled brightly and continued to walk next to me.

_Ok first of all, why did it sound a little off for the pixie Alice to work anywhere that was described as "laid back"? And second why in the hell did she sound so damn sure of her self when she said I was going to love working here? That wasn't something I could easily agree with; especially when it's something that has to do with life in bum fuck Alaska._

When we made it to the office we followed Wendi and walked in after her, to say I was blown away was a not exactly right, it was a lot like the main rec. room area, and the walls were covered with numerous things. But the thing that had me frozen where I stood was the fact that the room seemed like it was filled to capacity, I mean there were wall to wall supplies, but strangely enough it was all organized in some way. The shelves against the wall were holding all types of different stuff, on some shelves there were paint bottles, some with spools of what looked like colored plastic string, another with construction paper that was neatly stacked by color, and the counter tops had several plastic tubs filled with different types of beads, markers, crayons, and color pencils. Against the wall closest to the door there was a desk that had papers stacked all around, but also had a lot of personal touches too, like pictures and sports team stuff.

When I was finally done looking over as many details as possible, I focused back on Wendi and Alice, who, I now realize, have been watching me the entire time. I immediately blushed feeling the heat pool in my cheeks and looked down at my feet, and that's when I notice that the floor seemed to be covered in a thin layer of glitter. Not being able to control my words I muttered, "Ugh… I can't stand glitter." Not thinking either one of them could here me; I was startled when Wendi spoke.

"What was that sweetheart?"

I didn't want to be rude on my first day so I quickly reworded myself, "Oh, I was just saying how much I enjoyed glitter." _ok so basically I lied. Oh well sue me!_

Looking a little puzzled she spoke. "Really?" I shrugged indifference. "Hmm. Well personally I can't stand the shit!" She said with her voice hushed.

Not being able to stop my wide-eyed stare or come up with a real response, I went with what came to mind first. "Huh?" _I know I'm such a well spoken individual… hmph! Whatever, my boss totally just said the word 'shit'! What was my reaction supposed to be?_

Laughing, most likely at my awesome vocabulary, Wendi spoke again, "Relax Bella! We're very open here, as long as the time and place is appropriate." She gently rubbed my shoulder in reassurance, and continued. "And as far as the glitter goes, I could definitely live without it. Even though chances are that if I stopped using glitter today and never touched it again, I would still find some somewhere at home or even here, 20 years from now. The shit never goes away! I personally like to call it the devil's art supply." She laughed again.

Relaxing slightly now that I wasn't alone in my hatred of glitter, "Oh well, I really can't stand the stuff either to be honest." I admitted.

"It sounds like we've got a lot in common! Alice on the other hand feels a little, well actually a lot different about glitter."

Alice piped up enthusiastically, "I LOVE GLITTER! A little glitter can always brighten things up! And adding a little sparkle here and there is never a bad thing!" she grinned so big I thought her head might split.

_Dear lord please tell me the pixie does not own a bedazzler! That could possibly lead to very very bad things._

"Ok, ok! Enough of that, I'm sure there will plenty of time later for Alice to continue describing her wet dreams. But until then I think it's probably a good idea to get Bella all straightened out and the tedious shit taken care of. Sound good to you Bella?"

_Holy fuck! I must have slipped into some crazy alternate universe! Maybe I fell when I was walking up here, and this is just some crazy dream caused by a head injury… it's entirely possible. _

Once I realized that my mouth had popped open, I quickly closed it so I could answer her. "Sounds good to me."

"Great! Alright, Alice while I get Bella all sorted out why don't you go ahead and get things set up for today's project?"

"Sure things boss!" Alice chirped as she bounced back out of the office, looking way to happy.

Wendi then turned back to me and smiled, "Alright Bella, lets do this!" she clapped her hands together in a determined fashion and walked over to a filing cabinet next to the desk.

_Ugh… I hate paperwork. But hopefully it's quick and easy! Although we all know how it goes when I hope for something…yeah, this is going to suck a big fat one._

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only 2 and half hours, I was finally free from the suffocating storage unit also known as an office. _That must be what the inside of Barney's never ending magic bag looked like. _During the time that I was trapped inside "barney's magic bag" I spent it filling out tons of repetitive bullshit paperwork, and I was pretty sure that I was developing carpel tunnel or some shit, because of it. _Good thing I filled out the workman's comp. one first! _After the paperwork was finish I was forced to watch the most ridiculous, pointless, and just plain retarded sexual harassment video.

_I mean really? I highly doubt that my boss was going to ask me to go to his boat for the weekend with him to fill out "paperwork". But thanks to that stupid video I was now prepared to deal with this type of situation, and also I do believe that IQ dropped a good 50 points from the lack of brain usage._

Finally back in the rec. room, which was now scattered with kids, I stood and watched for a minute, just to see what normally went on around here. There were some kids working on a project with Alice at a table, Wendi was in the back corner working on the dollhouse from earlier, and there were other kids playing pool or different board games. Once I had looked around at all that was happening, I decided to head over to Alice to see if the pixie needed help, or at least find out what the hell I should do. Wendi hadn't given me any specific duties because it was my first day and she said I should "get the feel of things", so I figure helping Alice was my best bet.

I walked over to the table she was now seated at helping a little girl and sat down across from her. Once she was finished helping the little girl she looked up noticing me, and smiled like she was just given a life times supply of glitter. _Why was she so damn happy? She was acting like I was some super special person or something, which I was definitely not. It made me nervous, I don't make people happy like that, well… at least not anymore… oh great now I have managed to make myself feel even worse. It must be nice being Alice, all carefree and shit. _So I decided to push my feelings away and speak to her before I ran away from her overwhelming happiness.

"Anything I can help with?" I said quietly while looking around the table to see what they were doing, they were making some sort of picture frames out of foam, and it looked easy enough to understand.

"Not really, it's pretty easy to figure out, so no one really needs much help." She shrugged and then went on, "but you can make one if you like, all the pieces are already there. All you have to do is punch the pieces out and glue it all together, like the picture on the package. They're really cute see?" She held up a lime green foam frame with tiny foam pieces glued to it. There were little sunglasses, flip flops, shovels, beach balls, and suns with smiling faces, I find it kind of ironic that they would make this project because no one EVER used that stuff in Forks. During the summer it was lucky it the temperature reached 85 degrees, and it was not always good weather to go to the beach. Unlike back home, well I mean in Phoenix, summers there were incredibly hot and super uncomfortable, you would never wear pants because if you did there was a high chance that you would get heat stroke. Giving an inward sigh I stopped my internal rambling, this was home now and there was no going back, not to live anyway.

I reach out and grabbed a craft package, opened it, and started popping out all the little pieces. Once that was done I looked at the picture on the instructions to see where everything went before gluing it on. As I was reaching for the glue the little girl that Alice was helping startled me when she began talking to me, "What is your name?" she spoke softly and I almost didn't hear her. Not wanting to scare her, I put on my best kid friendly smile and answered her, "My name is Bella, what is your name?" She seemed please with me and smiled, "My name is Claire, and I'm 6." She seemed very proud of herself, and I smiled back at her, but before I was able to speak again, she went on. "Are you working here now with Wendi and Miss Alice?" _Really? Miss Alice? God I hope they don't call me Miss Bella! That just makes me feel old and it's just not cool._

"Yes she is Claire," I jumped, startled because I didn't realize that Wendi had walked over and was standing next to me smiling, not noticing my shock or not caring, she went on, "Miss Bella just moved here to live with her dad, Chief Swan, and was nice enough to come hang with us this summer." As she finished she playful nudged me and walked off to "Barney's magic bag", I tried to hold back the scowl that was threatening to appear at the mention of Charlie and being called Miss Bella, apparently I was successful because Claire spoke up again. "Well I'm happy you're here Miss Bella. You're pretty." She gave me a shy smile and blushed as she went back to working on her picture frame, not being able to control it, I even blushed a little at the instant acceptance and flattery that Claire had given me. With a sincere smile I replied, "Thank you very much Claire, I'm happy I'm here too." It wasn't entirely a lie, I was appreciative of her compliment, but happy wasn't exactly the best description of how I was feeling about living here. _Yeah, the complete opposite actually, I was livid. But I was not going to tell little Claire this. _

After finishing my project I help the pixie clean up the aftermath of today's craft, it wasn't too bad, seeing there was only foam scraps to pick up and glue to put away. I'm sure there are far worse crafts to come, and I was dreading it. By the time I looked at the clock it was already 9, we were all finished cleaning and all of the kids had gone home.

"Well since everything taken care of and cleaned up, I say we get the hell out of here!" Wendi said as she was collecting her belongings, Alice quickly agreed and I nodded my head as well. Wendi made sure all the cupboards were locked and the pixie and I turned off the lights, once we were outside Wendi locked the door, and after making sure Charlie would be picking me up soon, she waved goodbye and headed to her car.

I decided to follow Alice out to her car, even though Charlie wanted me to wait inside, it wasn't exactly an option. When we got there she asked if I needed a ride which I had to tell her several times that Charlie would be here soon, "It ok Alice, really, Charlie will be here in like ten minutes."

"Are you sure? I can wait with you if you want, I don't mind." She looked at me with pleading eyes and I sighed. _ I just really want to be alone right now, this shit has been a lot to take in for one day._

"No Alice, go home, I will see you tomorrow." I tried to sound calm so she wouldn't be worried, but I don't know if she bought it. She looked at me for a while, like she was studying me, trying to tell if I was lying. She must have been satisfied because she gave me a quick hug and told me one more time to be safe and then got into her car and drove out of the parking lot.

I stood under the light post in the parking to be safe, and because I wasn't very fond of being outside in the dark by myself, the thought alone had a shiver going through me. _Chill out Bella! You. Are. FINE. Nothing is going to happen. _I took several deep breaths trying to relax myself before I freaked out over nothing, so I decided to distract myself and took out my phone to keep myself busy, until Charlie got there.

I was so wrapped up in a totally exciting game of zuma on my phone that I almost screamed when I suddenly heard voices coming from the dark behind me. _And no, the voices were NOT in my head, which would be far less unsettling. _Quickly collecting myself, I looked down and focused on my feet, letting my hair fall over my face, acting as some sort of shield against these strangers. Listening closely to the approaching voices, I soon realize there was nothing threatening in their tone as they spoke, and they were actually laughing together, but I still did not let my guard down. As they got closer my breathing increased and I felt shaky as I was on the verge of panic, I shut my eyes squeezing them tightly as I tried to talk myself down.

_Please please please not here. Everything is fine, no need to panic. God oh god please! Breathe Bella! This is the LAST thing you need, to have a panic attack because a stranger walks past you. Come on, you're stronger than this! Please let me be stronger than this._

As the voices moved past me I relaxed ever so slightly, feeling as if the danger had past. Once I didn't feel like I would pass out, I gathered my courage and looked toward these strangers that had almost given me a panic attack. When I finally saw them I felt even more ridiculous, all they were was three guys around my age, looking as if they had just finished playing basketball in the gym. _Oh my god. I am such a drama queen! How in the hell am I going to work here if the VOICES of unknown men made me panic? I mean what the fuck? Why in the hell did I have to be so messed up? It isn't fair, I should be able to live a normal life, as a normal teenage girl. Unfortunately my life was far from normal, and that would never change._

As I looked a little closer at the three guys I noticed they looked almost harmless, I say almost because the one in the middle was HUGE! He was a little taller than the others, his hair was black and had a little curl to it, but his arms had to be as big around as me! That's just insane; I mean he had to be on steroids or something because no one is naturally THAT big. The other guy standing next to him on the right was almost his exact opposite; he was tall and slim, but still seemed to be in good shape, he had sandy blonde hair that was wavy and kind of shaggy, and when he smiled, I felt oddly relaxed, and he was nothing like his buddy the hulk.

Finally making my way to the third and last guy, I think my brain may have died, because it sure as hell was not functioning anymore. He had the most amazing bronze colored hair that was all over the place but still managed to look perfect, he had very defined features, and the most enticing jaw line that when I looked at it, I had this strange urge to lick it.

_What the fuck? Lick it? Where did that come from?_

He had a very broad chest that was visible by the way his t-shirt fit him, and he had very athletic looking legs, obviously from playing sports for some time. Basically he was just, for lack of a better word, HOT! _What? Hot? _This was not a normal thing for me to be thinking about someone, and most definitely not a stranger. I had only ever looked at one person that way, and he's gone now, so this was a major shock to me.

_It must be something in the water here, it's probably giving me brain damage, or something, and this shit was not cool! I don't want to look at someone like that EVER, because it wasn't right or fair._

I stopped my internal chastising and suddenly had a strange feeling I was being watched. When I looked up trying to see why, and I looked right at the stranger with the bronze hair and was met by the most intense green gaze. It felt like I might get lost in them, they were full of emotion, but nothing staying long enough for me to recognize. I gasped aloud at the intensity of the connection and he immediately moved his gaze away and back to his friends.

While the green eyed god and the hulk walked to a silver Volvo, the blonde, with the relaxing smile, headed off towards a black mustang telling his friends bye and I swear I heard him say something about a moose, yeah I must be losing it. The blonde left the parking lot first, and the green eyed god and the hulk left following after him a few minutes later. As I stared at the Volvo while it drove out, I was caught again locking eyes with the amazing green eyes briefly before they left the parking lot, and I immediately blushed in embarrassment, and at the fact that I couldn't stop staring.

As soon as they were out of sight Charlie pulled in and I walked over and got into the car. Charlie just looked at me and I swear if looks could kill, me, along with every other person in a miles radius would be dead, and just like that my thoughts of the green eyed god were gone and replaced with my sudden irritation.

_What the hell is his problem? Whatever it was he didn't need to fucking look at me like that! Ass head!_

I spoke cautiously; not wanting to make whatever it was worse, "Hey Charlie how was your day?"

"I thought I told you to wait inside." He stated flatly as if he hadn't even heard me. _Whoa! Calm down killer!_

"Um, yeah I know, but we finished early and Wendi wanted to close up, so I just decided wait out here," I paused, it was really irritating having to explain my actions to him, Renee never even did this. "Don't worry Charlie, I was only out here for like 10 minutes at the most, and I had my phone out just incase. No big deal." I shook my head and turned to look out the window waiting for him to pull out, but he didn't. I turned to see what was taking so damn long and I was met with the death stare again.

_Geez why are you making this such a big problem! All of sudden you want to care, well don't waste your time or breathe daddy dearest, it's too little too late. _

"It doesn't matter Isabella. I told you to wait inside and I meant it. I do not want you outside by yourself after dark, it's not safe, and a damn cell phone will not protect you all the time." He continued to glare at me and I just looked at him in utter disbelief.

_Did he just call me Isabella? Who does he think he is, not even my mother called me by my full name. Jake was the only one I let call me that, and he never said it out of anger. I refuse to let Charlie fuck with that just because he's all pissy over NOTHING!_

"Don't call me that Charlie. It's just Bella and don't freak out, I will wait inside the gym if it ever happens again." I turned away looking out the window, not wanting him to see the tear run down my cheek.

"I think I can call my own daughter her name if I choose to do so." He huffed.

"No you can't." I stated not looking away from the window, "Only one person can call me that and he's not here to do that anymore, so I refuse to allow anyone else call me that, especially when they do it in anger." I spat. He had made me explain something to him that hurt to even think of, let alone talk about. The pain was almost crippling as the memories tried to come back in full force, but I pushed them away with everything I had until they were back where they belonged. I knew I wouldn't survive those memories, they would break me all over again, and I could not have that happen. I made a promise, and it was one I would never and could never break, no matter how numb I had to be, I would fight forever to keep that promise.

Charlie didn't say anything else, probably feeling a little hurt from my harsh words, but he knew about Jake and should understand. Instead he just pulled out and headed out of the parking lot towards home.

_Oh well it was probably only a fraction of what I feel daily, maybe now he won't question me._

The rest of the drive was silent, and once we got home I headed straight to my room not bothering to get dinner, I was in no mood for food, all I wanted to do was get in bed and try and forget about today, it was a complete roller coaster of emotion. I got into my room and changed into my sweats and a t-shirt, I then went to my ipod doc and looked for a song to fall asleep to, as soon as I landed on it I knew it was perfect, even though I was aware the feelings it would bring with it, I needed to let some it out before I suffocated under it's intense presence. I pressed play then got into bed, and let Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone fill the room. I cried silently as I let a little of my pain bleed out straight from my heart, until I was finally pulled into a deep and sorrowful sleep.

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And these days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone _

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

**A/N: Ok so what do you think? Any ideas about what happened to Bella and Jake? I know you don't have a lot of insight yet, but don't worry it will come soon enough.**

**Ok so you we think you guys should press the little button down below and tell us your thoughts! We would be very grateful and it will make Ch. 3 come a lot quicker! **

**Next chapter Edward speaks!!!**

**Songs In Chapter 2:**

**Black Eyed Peas- Boom Boom Pow**

**Avril Lavigne- When You're Gone**

**Hope to hear from you!!**

– **Marissa and Kylie**


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